Meaning of emoji: Smiley with heart-shaped eyes / In love smiley

The emoticon/emoji of the smiley with the heart-shaped eyes can mean different things, depending on the context of the conversation. Although it’s been labeled the “In love smiley” in most cases it’s used to express;

Smiley with heart shaped eyes
Love it
So cute
So sweet
I’d love to
Thank you so much

Yes, sorry to break it; love IT. That is not the same as ‘ I love you.’
In some cases the sender might mean I love you, but if that’s not clear in the context of the conversation, don’t make this emoji more than it probably is.

The smiley with the hearts around it can also mean different things, but seems to be commonly more used to express the actual emotion of loving someone:
Smiley with 3 hearts
I feel so loved
I’m in love

Single and solo during the pandemic

The last two weeks have been very ‘alone’, I’m not going to say lonely, as I luckily am not. While most of my friends are living together with their partners, I’m living by myself. In a small but light apartment close to the beach and directly at a national park. I’m still allowed to go outside for some fresh air, so I go for beach walks daily and every other day I go for a run with a friend in town. He is the only friend I see in person. Sometimes we also have dinner together.

I’m not dating anyone in person. I’m only sexting a bit with a very hot guy I recently had some physical action with, short before the pandemic hit Europe. Sexting is a very fun way to keep each other sexually pleased during a time of social distancing. Yet, be mindful when getting into this. Better be safe than sorry, so always expect it to be shared or shown to others. Here are some guidelines:

– Only text with someone you have met in person and already had chemistry with in person.
– Make sure your head doesn’t show on nudes. If you want to share a tease, in bikini for example, that’s fine as long as you wouldn’t mind it to be shown to others.
– When sending real nudes, try to be as unrecognizable as possible, so cover up tattoos and body marks that would identify it to be you.
– Keep it classy, practice on angles, light effects, specific poses and body areas. It’s not really pretty to send a picture of your punani in full glory in bright light. For example, a picture of your hand slipping in your panties would be more classy and playful.
– Don’t get carried away during video chat, there’s always a risk the other one is recording.

Enjoy your time at home!

Bye Bye Tinder

The second weekend of 2020 I decided to quit. Not talking about smoking or alcohol or work. Cigarettes are part of the past for many years already, alcohol and I have a stable relationship, and I am happy with my job. So none of those. I’m talking about Tinder and other dating apps.
Tinder has provided the occasional funny anecdotes, but bottom line, mostly just a lot of wasted time. 2019 was the least sexual year of my active life. Out of the 3 physical endeavours, a total of zero were even close to satisfying.
But are there other ways to meet potential? Singles are starting to get less and less flirtatious, spontaneous and approachable in real life. Regardless whether one is looking for love, friendship+ or just sex, Tinder users are so lazy. And I probably was too.

It is time, time to delete these apps. Let’s work on our real life social skills. How to flirt, how to fish, or how to make real connection, depending on what you’re after. Let’s start winking again. Let’s start advising each other on tasty products in the supermarket again. Let’s offer a drink. Let’s do a dance. Let’s sprinkle compliments around. Let’s ask a friend to wing that hotty across the room. Let’s stop being pussies, hiding behind a screen, only showing parts we feel confident about and pretend we’re perfect.
I will be throwing winks, say hi to sexy strangers and stalk hot guys in the supermarket. We don’t know who’s single on Tinder these days anymore either. Let’s get out there and start flirting in public again. 

“… it felt as if it was his very first time…”

It has been a while, not just the writing, but also activities to write about. My last date that resulted in action was on Valentine’s day. So that’s over 4 months ago. It was not a success. The date was, the action wasn’t.

Again a Tinder story, how else is a busy person supposed to find some bed time adventure these days… An Australian expat, which, based on my previously published statistics , would mean good sex guaranteed. Valentine’s day was on a Thursday this year. We agreed to meet in a city closer to my place than his, bit later in the evening and go on a bar crawl.

I already saw him looking around, a little lost and confused, to find the first bar on the list, a local beer brewery and bar. We greeted each other and walked in for our first drinks. We chatted, had good laughs, all easy going and fun. We continued to another beer bar, continued convo. Upgraded to a wine bar, after which we went to a cava bar. It was quiet in town, especially considering it to be Valentine’s day.  I’d expected it to be busy with couples having dinner and drinks, but it wasn’t at all. The bartenders were happy to see some happy people (the two of us) walking in late for some cava tasting. Their enthusiasm resulted in the two of us drinking a lot. Too much as I was supposed to drive myself back. I had already started to drink a lot of water, trying to stay just as sober enough to be able to drive.  When we walked out, I hinted him he’d be going back to the train station to catch his last train. I noticed he was stalling, to intentionally miss it. On our way to the train station he stopped and started kissing me. He was a decent kisser, so I decided to take him home.

Once home, we started making out on the couch. Although he had been a good kisser, all other things he did were not of great quality at all. I thought it might be because he was getting over-excited that he lost a bit of self-control. We went to my bedroom and he started to fuck me. To my unpleasant surprise, it felt as if it was his very first time having sex. He was so clumsy, spastic, a-rhythmic and didn’t seem to have any clue about the female physics.

As it was past midnight already and trains had stopped going, he had to stay the night. I dropped him off at the train station the next morning. He really took down the average score for Australian men. What a disappointment. Hopefully something good again soon to get rid of this bad memory and association with sex.

“… he walked into the house and gestured me to follow.”

Tinder and I are in a love/hate relationship. It was yesterday that I reinstalled the app and created my account again after little over a month without. The exercise was less disappointing than previous times. There were actually some seemingly interesting guys in my radius, so plenty of matches. It had been a while that I actually used the app to chat with local guys. Previously I’d only swipe for expats or when I was abroad, as I’m generally not really into Dutch men. But there was this adventures looking local with who I matched and he started a conversation. After some chit chat, he asked me about my latest Tinder date. My reply was: “Deleted Tinder for some weeks. Had a 86 hours lasting Tinder-date in October. Needed some time to reset from that. Set up my account again today. But I’m still a bit anti. Not sure what I’m doing here really. How about you?”

Let’s go back to October:
I was on vacation in Hawaii and staying in a perfect Airbnb in a quiet area on the East side of Oahu. On a Thursday morning I sent out a random Good morning to one of the Tinder matches. Just for some local suggestions on where to go to and what to do in the neighborhood. We started chatting. Within a couple of texts back and forth we agreed to meet for coffee.

Continue reading “… he walked into the house and gestured me to follow.”

“… very hot and polite bold guy.”

Over the last couple of years, with some ups and downs and moments of desperation, I’ve become to love my singledom. In fact, I found that I once was ready to settle, but I have now grown out of that, completely. Having embraced my freedom and personal space, where I was pretty much a saint in the past, I’ve learned that if I want be single and also have a healthy sex life, I shouldn’t be too hard on myself and so I have allowed myself to play. A lot.

In the last couple of years, I have met several men who have been a pleasure to have around, for a limited time. They don’t fit a specific profile. I don’t have a type at all. There was this ‘super bogan Australian skipper’, a ‘porn mustache hipster’, an ‘American rugby player’, ‘the puppy’, the ‘very tall albino boy’, and the best one of the couple of years of- very brief but also very passionate and fulfilling romances, was the ‘bold bodyboarder’.

The bold bodyboarder was without a doubt a present from the universe;

Continue reading “… very hot and polite bold guy.”

Private statistics

After my latest romantic failure, the easiest option for some distraction and fun would be Tinder. But, statistics….

As I keep track of my romantic and sexual adventures and I now have collected the bare minimum of sufficient date to analyze; here is some insight in the results so far.

Keeping a score card originally started to see if there was some sort of resemblance based on zodiac signs. But there is none, at least not in my list. Instead, there is a clear resemblance in performance when looking at origin/nationality.

I can confidently say that Australian men are by far better in pleasing me than Europeans or Americans.

The average scores on a 1 to 10 base:

8,0 AUS
6,4 USA
6,1 EUR

Not just from my own data, but also checking with the friends who have global experience, they have similar experiences.

The main difference I’ve experienced is that the Australian men seem to be more primal and unrestrained. No fuss, taking the lead and making it a fulfilling exciting physical adventure. All Australians scored 8 or higher, apart from one. This one took down the average because he was too drunk and fell asleep on top and inside of me, obviously resulting in a low score.

European and American men tend to be too self aware, too careful and therefor out of rhythm and making it less relax, less organic and sometimes even uncomfortable. European men do seem to have the biggest, but this hasn’t resulted in a better experience overall.

Unfortunately, there are little to none Australian tourist in town in this season, so it’s wine instead.


“In a clean bed. All to myself.”

A couple of years ago, I spent a week with Shy Guy to find out afterwords that he and I experienced the time together differently.
The last two weeks I felt as if I was wearing Shy guys socks for a change. ~ Walking in his shoes couldn’t be the case as the circumstances were too different. But maybe in an emotional way the situation was a bit similar.

About half a year ago I met a slightly younger guy (;Puppy) while on vacation. We had a little fling and I didn’t take it too serious. We kept in touch, sporadic texts. After a couple of months, he expressed that he had stronger feelings for me and wanted to spend more time together. He wanted to come visit. (A >20 hour journey) Continue reading “In a clean bed. All to myself.”

Part 54: ‘The moustache was a great indication of what I had to expect for the night.’

As I’m working in Finance, where numbers rule, I made some calculations regarding my sex life and romantic adventures. The conclusion is that I have made big steps on the activity ladder in the past two years, this compared to the first twelve years after becoming sexually active. Yet, it’s easily defensible. I’m thirty, thirsty and I hate men. Most men that is. And so the rare occasions I meet a guy I don’t hate, if the opportunity to have physical pleasure presents itself, I take it.

The latest adventure was with ‘Porn Mouch’. A Tinder match. He looked Ozzy. Continue reading Part 54: ‘The moustache was a great indication of what I had to expect for the night.’

Part 52: ‘They are fun to play with before flying out again.’

It brought me tears of joy when my best friend told me her boyfriend had proposed and she said yes. She and I know each other for 18 years now and although she lives abroad for a while already, our friendship is very solid. Her future husband is an amazing guy. He really understands what an amazing woman she is.

While she is engaged now, I’ve been single for such a long time that I can’t even imagine sharing my time and living space with a guy and actually enjoy giving up the freedom I have gotten used to over the past seven years. I already have a hard time adjusting to having to care for animals when I accidentally offer to pet-sit. That’s probably why I’m single and why I only seem to have temporary romances.

Shyguy, Avocado man and Enjoy-the-ride aren’t exactly the type of guys you can introduce to your family, but they are the type of guys who really turn me on and who I have a lot of joy with when spending time with them. Even the bad boys tend to have sweet love in them and it’s the cutest thing to see happening. The moment when you see a tough guy melting for you when giving him a cute smile or when they actually start trying to be a gentlemen or act romantic even though it obviously isn’t something that comes natural to them… That really makes me want to have crazy wild sex. They are fun to play with before flying out again. In these cases literally as it either happened abroad or/and they were from abroad. I could enjoy it fully as there was never a threat I would have to give up part of my freedom when jumping into these adventures, as they would always only be temporary.

It only sucks hard when falling in love with one of these free spirits and struggling with a heavy heart even though it rationally was never a wish or executable idea to stay together forever, like the hearthache I ended up with after Shyguy.

My future looks like I will be the bridesmaid, never the bride.