After a couple of months in my thirties, I can say; It’s challenging. Although I’m not the type to ‘care’ about what others think of me, I do know that if you have certain goals or wishes in life, you sometimes have to act a certain way, adjust your behavior a little or present yourself in an appropriate way in order to achieve it.
While in your twenties, you have the age as an excuse when you choose to don’t always do what’s best. Once in your thirties, that becomes harder. You are held more accountable and I personally feel there is more judgement. Maybe we also judge ourselves more once we hit that mark and maybe that’s even a good thing. As I said, sometimes that is required to be able to reach certain goals.
But it is also about the superficial silly fun stuff, like: Can I get away with a crop top? Feeling really bad when having had unprotected sex. Choice of men. Getting passed out drunk. Emotional outbursts.
Once women have reached 30, we are expected to have learned our lessons during puberty and our twenties and have ‘grown up’. I sometimes wonder if I will ever learn the right lessons to finally, at some point in my life, be able to convince the world and myself I’m actually an adult.
But why even bother? Common expressions (of mostly my generation);
‘Never stop learning’
(The same lesson over and over and over again)
‘Don’t grow up, it’s a trap’
(because you will have to take responsibility)
(so why not make it as short as possible and put your health in danger by taking drugs, collect STD’s, kill your liver, screw your friends, jump out of a plane, waste money on bullshit)
Clearly I haven’t found my 30-balance yet.