Why is it, that when we fall in love, we start behaving like retards. At a moment where we want to show our selfs from our best side, being in love makes us blind, foolish, unfocused and behaving like morons.
It was in Bali that I crushed on ‘shy guy’ from Australia. We had eye contact for weeks before he finally found cojones to approach me. Or at least, to come close enough so I could start a chat with him. I was too drunk to have a real conversation, so I decided (something I wouldn’t come up with normally) we should get naked instead and that’s how I dragged him home. Surprising myself with my sexual aggressiveness.
We had amazing sex, a run to the supermarket for cigarettes and ice cream and some more sex. Then he vanished in the middle of the night while I was passed out, probably snoring. I figured I would see him around because I had seem him constantly. I totally forgot to ask him his name that night. I just couldn’t really care for his name at that moment. It was the feeling he gave me I cared about, the way he looked at me. Shy, naughty, sweet, sexy, all at the same time. When I left Bali, I hadn’t seen him anymore and I didn’t know his name.
After some online investigation, I discovered his name, but zero social media accounts. A friend of mine, happened to know a colleague of him from the tattoo shop he works at, and so through them, I gave shy guy my number. A couple of days after I set this in motion, I received a text. We started chatting. He sent he was happy I had been able to trace him, because he hád looked for me after that night (except at my home…). I was relieved he was happy about it, because the other way around I would most definitely considered him a freak if he had traced me like that.
It turns out to be a big challenge to get to know this guy better with the distance and the time difference. It’s strange how it is so tough with him, I’m not used to that. I have many friends and a couple of former flirts living abroad, in different time zones and don’t experience this struggle with them at all. But still, I’m up for a challenge and I enjoy it. Yet due to having a crush, I catch myself on stupid behavior constantly. As bad that I almost screwed up in a way he didn’t seem to feel comfortable to keep in touch anymore. Sucks how I haven’t been able to find a different way for myself. I’m just really expressive. Maybe sometimes a bit too much. But if a guy can’t handle that, well, I probably shouldn’t consider it a loss.