When I received a phone call from my male best friend yesterday, something hit me. If a passer-by had overheard how we communicate, he or she had probably guessed we would be partners. Maybe most single women my age have a set of males/friends in their life who in a way replace a boyfriend/husband.
In my case, I have my best friend, who I can come “home” to. He will always text back asap and answers his phone whenever I call. And obviously vice versa. When I don’t feel like taking care of myself, he’ll cook me dinner. We watch movies together. When I have the flu he takes great care of me. Or sometimes I just feel like pampering him, and I cook him dinner. I bring booze. We have serious conversations or we laugh and we drink. We party together. We go to the gym together. He is like the bigger brother I never had. Most of my female single friends either have a brother like this, or a guy best friend like this.
To cover the absence of the physical pleasures of being in a relationship, women can choose to have a “friend with benefits”. Currently this element of the “boyfriend replacement pack” is missing in my life, but it wouldn’t be hard to hustle a good looking, empty headed hottie, without the chance to get emotionally connected, if I needed it badly. The best part of choosing to go for a friend with benefits is if it doesn’t match that well physically after-all, you can replace them without feelings getting hurt.
As for practical and maintenance purposes, I’m quite handy myself. And with YouTube offering all step by step DIY tutorials, we don’t need men for technical things any longer. All we need is internet connection. Lots of women, including myself, go to the gym nowadays. We do weight training, cross fit, body pump, boot camps. The perks of having a guy around the house for heavier stuff, has already become unnecessary. Some women who are sportive are a lot stronger than men who don’t exercise. We have become very independent for sure.
For romance, or let’s say, the things couples do together, we have our female friends or we do them by ourselves. Nowadays it’s not weird or inappropriate to go to the movies alone, have a picnic in the park sitting on the plaid enjoying a good book by yourself, to have dinner somewhere fancy and cute with a friend, go on a vacation with a friend, a relative or alone. One of my favorites is to get sushi, open a bottle of wine, light candles and watch a thriller all by myself. The romantic aspects of a relationship are almost less satisfying and comfortable than the freedom to create your romantic nights alone.
Although this seems a plea and cheer for being single, it’s not. We just adapted. Technology, condoms, emancipation, sperm banks, education, more equal wages, it gave us so much freedom and independence, it reflects in the way we seem to love. Women don’t need men anymore, and therefor men don’t see the use of their presence and time and/or money investment. We’ve become detached. Add the ease of replacement to it and you can see we’re bound to fail in our romantic future.
We shouldn’t continue losing faith and kill romance.
Isn’t it wonderful to form a team, that understands each other so well you don’t need words. To have passionate nights. Have each others back when times get rough. Inspire and motivate each other. To take care off one another. Someone to correct you when you’re wrong. Someone who challenges you. To appreciate and be appreciated, sometimes just for being there. To go on adventures. Share good and bad experiences. Make memories. Grow old and grey and still be in love when you stare into each other’s eyes… sigh. I don’t want the boyfriend replacement pack, I want that one real deal.
An interesting read supported by numbers, facts and prospects on this topic: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10975386/Will-Generation-Y-ever-tie-the-knot.html