It was a fun night in North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii. A night that me and my friend were just all over the place, cheerful and playful, chatting with whoever, looking nice in our cute dresses and most of all, we were getting pretty drunk. Happy drunk.
While I was on the dance floor, dancing merengue with a random volunteer, age 50, I lost track of my friend who had been dancing with a guy approximately her own age and not unattractive.
I went to the bar to see if I could find her there, but she wasn’t around. I couldn’t care much, as I was still happily drunk and a tall, sexy, also very drunk, Hawaiian guy started chatting with me. When he asked me if I was at the party by myself I explained I couldn’t find my friend anymore. He offered me a place to stay the night and happy as I was, I couldn’t be more happy to accept his offer. When we left the bar, I found my friend sitting on a sofa with the guy she had been dancing with. She told me it wasn’t necessary to go with the guy, but I already made up my mind and so I left with him.
I don’t cheer for drunk driving, but on islands, less populated places, it’s more of a rule than an exception and so it was either with my friend being my drunk driver, or this guy.
When we got to his house, he lit candles, told me to go sit on the bed and grabbed a guitar. He started playing. It didn’t fit the occasion at all. He and I were hooking up for a one night stand after bumping in on each other, both heavily intoxicated. What he was doing, playing the most beautiful Hawaiian serenade, was overwhelming. I felt I didn’t deserve it, not under those circumstances.
After the song, he crawled on top of me and we tried to get the physical party started, but we were both too drunk. It took too much effort to get inside, so once that finally succeeded, we were too exhausted and passed out. This ritual was repeated a couple more times that night, until we both gave up and didn’t want to wake up again, with him and his flabby dick still half-ish inside of me.
The next morning he gave me two massive avocados as a gift, just before we left the house and he dropped me off at my friend’s location.
Avocados will never taste the same again.