Tinder and I are in a love/hate relationship. It was yesterday that I reinstalled the app and created my account again after little over a month without. The exercise was less disappointing than previous times. There were actually some seemingly interesting guys in my radius, so plenty of matches. It had been a while that I actually used the app to chat with local guys. Previously I’d only swipe for expats or when I was abroad, as I’m generally not really into Dutch men. But there was this adventures looking local with who I matched and he started a conversation. After some chit chat, he asked me about my latest Tinder date. My reply was: “Deleted Tinder for some weeks. Had a 86 hours lasting Tinder-date in October. Needed some time to reset from that. Set up my account again today. But I’m still a bit anti. Not sure what I’m doing here really. How about you?”
Let’s go back to October:
I was on vacation in Hawaii and staying in a perfect Airbnb in a quiet area on the East side of Oahu. On a Thursday morning I sent out a random Good morning to one of the Tinder matches. Just for some local suggestions on where to go to and what to do in the neighborhood. We started chatting. Within a couple of texts back and forth we agreed to meet for coffee.
There was a slight drizzle, but we sat down outside and chatted. He was hot. A bit of a tech geek. A serious person. He came across like a… geography teacher. Not by the content of our conversations but his appearance; Mismatched outfit, electric car, soft tone, good pronunciation. The date continued at a nearby beach, watching kids practice surfing for an upcoming competition. He kept being very serious and although we had been chatting for at least an hour, I hadn’t seen him smile or heard him laugh yet. I tried to bring some air to the conversation. It semi worked. But he’s just not a person who laughs a lot; Grumpy. I didn’t mind, maybe it even made him more attractive. Most of my holiday romances aren’t with the brightest guys, so this was nice for a change.
He suggested to visit the beach at his home. We drove there, parked in front of the house and walked down the road to a little rocky beach where we had some privacy. We climbed onto a bigger rock and had a look around. Due to my fear of heights and underdeveloped climbing skills, he had to help me up the rock and down again. Which forced us to have physical contact. When we were back in the water, we started kissing and somehow, boom, I wanted him. All of him. We were kissing and playing in the water passionately when two guys showed up at the beach and seemed to be enjoying the show. Reason to exit the water. We walked up to the house and rinsed the sand off our feet. It was his parents house. They were home. I was expecting to either say goodbye at that point, or maybe he would suggest to go somewhere, maybe meet for dinner with an after party at my place later. But instead, he walked into the house and gestured me to follow.
I meet a guy for coffee. I can only remember his name because it reminds me of a old Dutch rap song. Date lasts longer than I’d expected. I was actually planning on doing some shopping. But he is hot. Really hot. And smart. We had been passionately kissing. I’m turned on. Want to have sex. Unrestrained. I know he feels it too, I felt him grow. He invites me in, while his parents are home. I’m scared. You don’t introduce someone to parents on a first date.Especially not a Tinder date.
Meeting parents is something I haven’t done in a long time. My former parents in law for 5 years, were awful. We didn’t match at all. They didn’t like me, I didn’t like them. And extroverted as I am, I didn’t bit my tongue when I didn’t agree with them. It was a struggle.
Now this new guy I want to get to know naked, is going to introduce me to his parents. I don’t want to meet them. I want sex with Grumpy, to see if he can enjoy physical pleasure.
There was a brief moment of panic. But we’re both adults. The parents are adults. We’re all adults. I needed to get over myself and act normal. For a moment I thought of telling him I’d be going back to my stay, but somehow, instead, I followed him in and introduce myself to his parents. It was awkward. I think for a moment we were all a bit confused about the situation. Luckily his mother is really nice, she broke the silence and started chatting with me. She’s a wonderful person. So kind and open. Seemed very happy. Not like Grumpy. His mother can read minds I guess, because she came with the brilliant idea to drink some alcohol. She happened to have a bottle of marshmallow flavoured vodka which they couldn’t get rid off and there I was. But it was horrible. Impossible to mix with anything and also on the rocks not tasty at all. It became a bit of an experiment, to figure out how to drink it. It was fun. An odd but joyful turn of events. How a Tinder-date can escalate.
He and I still had unfinished business and I invited him to join me on the morning hike to a waterfall up the road from my stay. A great excuse to take him to my place and so we left his parents house together. The night was great. Exhausting but great. We got along really well. So well, that we postponed saying farewell until I flew home on Monday morning. By then, we had been hanging out with his parents two more times.
I think I grew some feelings for him. Some butterflies. Strangely he doesn’t feel the same. So that’s the end of the story. But I sometimes wonder where things had gone if I hadn’t returned home that day.
So now, after a short break, I’m back on Tinder. Not sure what it is I’m aiming to find.