Tag Archives: being single

“This guy was too normal for me.”

Dating in my thirties is more confusing than I had expected. You’d think that wisdom comes with age and therefore, people would be more mindful, respectful and confident. But what I found is that most 30+ singles are lost. Some singles seem desperate, others bitter, or broken, some already hit their middle-crisis… The romantic experiences have fucked us up hard. Once you’ve experienced rough heartache or a toxic relationship, maybe infidelity or betrayal, it’s difficult to keep believing in romance, or even worse, maintain confident and with that, stay attractive.

I’ve been single now for almost 9 years. Really single. I have not been exclusive with anyone since. I did fell in love once or twice. Other times I almost fell in love, but their true colors showed soon enough to bail out in time. For some short periods I’ve had friends with benefits, but I haven’t had one of those in a while now and that’s becoming a bit frustrating.
I am not interested in a serious relationship this time in my life, not sure if ever, but do have physical needs. A friend with benefits, preferably close-by, would be great. So I’ve been shopping for it, without luck. Most men turn me off.

The latest date I went on was with a guy 8 years older; tall, strong, organized, driven and located at walking distance from my place. But I learned lessons, and didn’t have any expectations when arriving. We met for drinks at a beach bar. I went for wine, he went for some special beers. But, he tried to impress too much. Conversation was okay though, he didn’t come across like an idiot, he knew how to keep me entertained with his stories. We said goodbye, kiss on the cheek, and told each other to meet again another day.

Our next date was at his place, I came over for a cup of tea. It was too awkward. He seemed a little nervous, maybe insecure or something, which doesn’t match with his physics and his professional background. His house was tidy. And the interior was VERY predictable for a bachelor his age. He met all expectations one could have from a well organized 40 year old single man. Both in what his house looks like, and also in how he spends his free time.

But what would it matter if I’m not looking for relationship material…? Sigh; for me it’s a sexual turn off when a man is predictable and non-authentic. Instead, I tend to get turned on by weirdos, guys with unique characters. Men who don’t fit a specific profile. The rare breed. Probably because I’m a weirdo too. This guy was too normal for me.

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Part 47; ‘… a man my age, still single and good looking enough…’

Yesterday evening, while on the phone with my father, he and I were discussing my single status. The thing is, my father is about to retire and he is getting more and more excited on the idea on becoming a granddad. I’m turning thirty at the end of this month, and I have a strong child wish. One problem, I don’t want to become a single mom.

Last weekend I went to Geneva to see my best friend. As far as my father knew, I would also be spending time with an ‘interesting’ man, a good potential. I forgot to inform my father sooner, that this ‘interesting’ man had misled me.

The ‘interesting’ man has an important position at an human rights organization, therefore I though he would have integrity. But truth is, he was having an online affair with me for about 3 months, while I had no clue he was already in a relationship for years. It didn’t show when we were having our video calls. So many romantic messages and plans, so much sexting, so many dick pictures. I had no reason to doubt he was single, until he started to behave different and I did some online investigation. I did met up with him for a coffee when I was back in Geneva. What remains is a man in his early midlife crisis, myself single, and a lot of dirty pictures and videos to remember these 3 spicy months.

When I explained to my father I’ve given up on believing there’s a special someone out there for me, he was disappointed. It will take some more years for my stepbrothers and their girlfriends to be ready for parenthood. Yet it’s even impossible for my father to deny I’m a perfect example of the sex and the city-generation, generation-Y, the over-emancipated woman (which is his own fault, it’s how he raised me). Even my father had to admit that he hasn’t met a man my age, still single and good looking enough, who he would consider to be a good match for me.

Part 42: “… the boyfriend replacement pack.” (Why is Generation Y still single)

When I received a phone call from my male best friend yesterday, something hit me. If a passer-by had overheard how we communicate, he or she had probably guessed we would be partners. Maybe most single women my age have a set of males/friends in their life who in a way replace a boyfriend/husband. Continue reading Part 42: “… the boyfriend replacement pack.” (Why is Generation Y still single)

After the 70 days, part 37: “… bed bunk isn’t ideal for sex”

As mentioned in my previous blog, I decided to see if a heartache can really be cured by a rebound. Solely for research purposes. The best way to get a rebound in a blink is through Tinder nowadays, so I started swiping. It didn’t take long before I found some cuties. Including some tourists. Since the purpose was to find just a rebound, I figured a tourist would be ideal. I texted one of my matches I would be able to meet up for a drink that evening. He was happy to do so and asked me for suggestions on where to meet, outside of the touristic scene. I happened to know a really nice cocktail bar, located right in the middle of our individual locations. We met at 9 PM, which was pretty late given the fact that I had work the next morning, but I had some issues with time management that day. 

Continue reading After the 70 days, part 37: “… bed bunk isn’t ideal for sex”