Tag Archives: date

“This guy was too normal for me.”

Dating in my thirties is more confusing than I had expected. You’d think that wisdom comes with age and therefore, people would be more mindful, respectful and confident. But what I found is that most 30+ singles are lost. Some singles seem desperate, others bitter, or broken, some already hit their middle-crisis… The romantic experiences have fucked us up hard. Once you’ve experienced rough heartache or a toxic relationship, maybe infidelity or betrayal, it’s difficult to keep believing in romance, or even worse, maintain confident and with that, stay attractive.

I’ve been single now for almost 9 years. Really single. I have not been exclusive with anyone since. I did fell in love once or twice. Other times I almost fell in love, but their true colors showed soon enough to bail out in time. For some short periods I’ve had friends with benefits, but I haven’t had one of those in a while now and that’s becoming a bit frustrating.
I am not interested in a serious relationship this time in my life, not sure if ever, but do have physical needs. A friend with benefits, preferably close-by, would be great. So I’ve been shopping for it, without luck. Most men turn me off.

The latest date I went on was with a guy 8 years older; tall, strong, organized, driven and located at walking distance from my place. But I learned lessons, and didn’t have any expectations when arriving. We met for drinks at a beach bar. I went for wine, he went for some special beers. But, he tried to impress too much. Conversation was okay though, he didn’t come across like an idiot, he knew how to keep me entertained with his stories. We said goodbye, kiss on the cheek, and told each other to meet again another day.

Our next date was at his place, I came over for a cup of tea. It was too awkward. He seemed a little nervous, maybe insecure or something, which doesn’t match with his physics and his professional background. His house was tidy. And the interior was VERY predictable for a bachelor his age. He met all expectations one could have from a well organized 40 year old single man. Both in what his house looks like, and also in how he spends his free time.

But what would it matter if I’m not looking for relationship material…? Sigh; for me it’s a sexual turn off when a man is predictable and non-authentic. Instead, I tend to get turned on by weirdos, guys with unique characters. Men who don’t fit a specific profile. The rare breed. Probably because I’m a weirdo too. This guy was too normal for me.

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“… it felt as if it was his very first time…”

It has been a while, not just the writing, but also activities to write about. My last date that resulted in action was on Valentine’s day. So that’s over 4 months ago. It was not a success. The date was, the action wasn’t.

Again a Tinder story, how else is a busy person supposed to find some bed time adventure these days… An Australian expat, which, based on my previously published statistics , would mean good sex guaranteed. Valentine’s day was on a Thursday this year. We agreed to meet in a city closer to my place than his, bit later in the evening and go on a bar crawl.

I already saw him looking around, a little lost and confused, to find the first bar on the list, a local beer brewery and bar. We greeted each other and walked in for our first drinks. We chatted, had good laughs, all easy going and fun. We continued to another beer bar, continued convo. Upgraded to a wine bar, after which we went to a cava bar. It was quiet in town, especially considering it to be Valentine’s day.  I’d expected it to be busy with couples having dinner and drinks, but it wasn’t at all. The bartenders were happy to see some happy people (the two of us) walking in late for some cava tasting. Their enthusiasm resulted in the two of us drinking a lot. Too much as I was supposed to drive myself back. I had already started to drink a lot of water, trying to stay just as sober enough to be able to drive.  When we walked out, I hinted him he’d be going back to the train station to catch his last train. I noticed he was stalling, to intentionally miss it. On our way to the train station he stopped and started kissing me. He was a decent kisser, so I decided to take him home.

Once home, we started making out on the couch. Although he had been a good kisser, all other things he did were not of great quality at all. I thought it might be because he was getting over-excited that he lost a bit of self-control. We went to my bedroom and he started to fuck me. To my unpleasant surprise, it felt as if it was his very first time having sex. He was so clumsy, spastic, a-rhythmic and didn’t seem to have any clue about the female physics.

As it was past midnight already and trains had stopped going, he had to stay the night. I dropped him off at the train station the next morning. He really took down the average score for Australian men. What a disappointment. Hopefully something good again soon to get rid of this bad memory and association with sex.

Part 54: ‘The moustache was a great indication of what I had to expect for the night.’

As I’m working in Finance, where numbers rule, I made some calculations regarding my sex life and romantic adventures. The conclusion is that I have made big steps on the activity ladder in the past two years, this compared to the first twelve years after becoming sexually active. Yet, it’s easily defensible. I’m thirty, thirsty and I hate men. Most men that is. And so the rare occasions I meet a guy I don’t hate, if the opportunity to have physical pleasure presents itself, I take it.

The latest adventure was with ‘Porn Mouch’. A Tinder match. He looked Ozzy. Continue reading Part 54: ‘The moustache was a great indication of what I had to expect for the night.’

Part 42: “… the boyfriend replacement pack.” (Why is Generation Y still single)

When I received a phone call from my male best friend yesterday, something hit me. If a passer-by had overheard how we communicate, he or she had probably guessed we would be partners. Maybe most single women my age have a set of males/friends in their life who in a way replace a boyfriend/husband. Continue reading Part 42: “… the boyfriend replacement pack.” (Why is Generation Y still single)

After the 70 days, part 30; 10 emotional stages you go through on Tinder.

Tinder…. Always a topic when single. Always good for bad stories, or good stories. Let’s go through 10 emotional stages you go through while playing on Tinder;

1) Joy. Funny, all these people in all shapes and sizes. Some good looking, most not so much.

2) Shock. When you pass the occasional dick pic. Continue reading After the 70 days, part 30; 10 emotional stages you go through on Tinder.